I always envied my friends in the United States and hated how they subtly but constantly reminded me of my stay in Nigeria. Every other week in group chats I got tortured by their narrations of television shows and movies (that are yet to hit the cinemas in Nigeria)
streamed on Netflix. The problem with Netflix at the time was its unavailability in Nigeria.
I remember this one time when Adeola literally transcribed an entire episode of ‘Orange Is the New Black,’ making me stare hopelessly at my phone screen. She texted as though I knew all its character and forcefully made me tag along. I had concluded it was a thing with Nigerians overseas and their pretentious attitude of not remembering where they had left America for; acting like everything gets automatically fixed in Nigeria as soon as they left the country. To make matters worse, she advised me to watch the next episode on Netflix and hoped that we could chit chat about it the following week, she, on an aloof note said, “It would be so much fun next week if we discussed.”
Like a phantom, the thoughts of not having access to Netflix
haunted me. I eerily saw meme inspired by the catch phrase ‘Netflix and chill’
everywhere: on Instagram pages, twitter hash tags and Facebook walls. For once
I knew I was locked out of this world for geographical reasons and it kept me
pondering why Africa’s most populous country didn’t have access; if they (at
Netflix) had a map, they might have realized how profitable the Nigerian
populace could be. Someone isn’t crunching those numbers just right and if
friends were assets, I sure did have a lot of them. I arranged meetings with my
programmer friends to help me create a mask for my IP address. They did sort
out some issues but my internet only worked when they were around. It was a
curse, looming only in their absence – I had given up on their half baked
solution.
The New Year came with a lot, and with it was Netflix. With
so much excitement, I rashly perused an article about Netflix’s launch in
Nigeria. It entailed details on how to subscribe. Immediately I teleported to
the Netflix website and registered on the platform then gained access to their
rich collection of films and series. With so much to pick from, I decided to go
with ‘orange is the new black.’ I craved to teach Adeola some serious
transcribing lessons and exactly, who is boss. I was highly impressed; the
visuals were impeccable: clear with crystal sound. I savored this moment,
hoping it wouldn’t come to an end. Eventually it did and with a reality check
too. I had spent over 75% of my data allocation on a single episode. I felt
betrayed and uninformed. How could this be happening? But it was just one
episode, just one.
Recovering from the shock, I decided to get my education on
track. I read through the entire terms and conditions. The revelations after
the recitation were rather underwhelming. I had just realized that I was on
free trial period valid for just a month, thereafter I was expected to pay
between a $7.99 – $11.99 monthly subscriptions; this caused my hand to reflex
toward a nearby calculation. In a flash I remembered all the websites I always
visited for free music and films, although, not of high definition quality, it
did serve its purpose as I was entertained. In order to keep up with my
American counterparts, I was self convinced that a mere eight dollar could not
stop my fun, until the calculator conversion of dollar to naira came up. This
ultimately meant spending 25% of my income on data and subscription fee. It was
a lot to keep up with, but I needed it one way or the other. I needed a voice
in group chats. I cannot be ousted by friends just because they think America
makes them better than me. I had to prove my worth through Netflix, they have
made it the in-thing and I don’t want out of our social circle.
Call what you may; I am yet to recover from this dreadful
experience. I may never be on Netflix; I just don’t make the cut. Perhaps I
could get my account back when the Naira – Dollar situation is fixed or when network
providers become more humane in their tariff billing. I also hear there is a
new network making preparation to unleash its awesomeness in Nigeria. Well until
then I guess I would have to sit through Adeola’s torturous transcribing class.
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